My favorite movie of all time is “When Harry Met Sally…”
To me, it’s the perfect movie. It’s sweet, hilarious, romantic, and timeless (despite the fantastic 80s fashions). There’s also a brief mention of Michigan State, which only adds to its perfection.
I often associate “When Harry Met Sally…” with the beginning of my relationship with my husband, Zack, because we watched it together on the day we officially started dating. It always reminds me of that exciting and fun time whenever we watch it.
Some of the best parts of the movie are the documentary-style vignettes of couples describing how they met each other. Their stories are based on real-life couples, although they are portrayed by actors in the movie.
Sometimes I imagine us telling the story of how we met on camera sort of like those couples, because it’s such a far-fetched, improbable, one in a billion kind of tale that it feels unreal. I’ve shared the story with friends, family, and even the MSU Alumni Association at Valentine’s Day.
Most people assume, correctly, that we met at Michigan State. But there’s so much more to the story.
We met thanks to iTunes. And we met in person on May 6, 2004. Seventeen years ago today.
So here’s the story of when Zack met Stefanie.
I moved into my freshman year dorm room at Holmes Hall in August 2003. I was a newly minted Mac user, having been convinced to get a PowerBook for college by my friend Nick. What a fateful decision that was.
In the first days of moving into the dorms, the office staff warned us that those with PCs would need to do some virus protection before connecting to the network. My roommate and I, each having Macs, were able to use our computers right away.
It’s wild to imagine it, but iPods and Mac laptops weren’t as ubiquitous as they soon became. iTunes was only available for Mac users, and it was rare to spot fellow iPod users on campus with the white earbuds cord hanging down their necks.
One of the features of iTunes at the time was the ability to stream music from fellow users’ libraries, if they were on a shared internet network. It worked in the dorms and even when I used the WiFi at Espresso Royale to do homework. Along the side menu, you could see a list of other iTunes users nearby. Music libraries consisted of CDs the person owned or music purchased through iTunes, so you could really get a sense of the person’s musical taste right away. It was a great way to listen to music you didn’t already own.
The streaming feature was also something that didn’t exist for very long after, really proving the point that timing is everything.
On one of those first days in Holmes Hall, I stumbled upon Zack’s music library. He had tons of U2, The Police, Dave Matthews Band, The Beatles, and more. I remember talking to my friend Nick on the phone about loving all of the iTunes features and how great Zack’s music taste was. Nick encouraged me to figure out where he lived in the dorm and say hi.
In that freshman sensibility of anything goes, I somehow agreed to this plan of tracking Zack down. It was very unlike me to be that bold.
Zack had his full name and AIM screen name with his iTunes music library information. The main MSU website allowed you to search students’ names and get their dorm room address. I have to think that feature doesn’t exist anymore. Can you imagine? I figured out that he lived on the first floor of West Holmes. Interestingly enough, I was on six East. We couldn’t have lived further apart in the dorm building.
I mustered up the courage to walk down to one west and found Zack’s dorm room. The door was shut, so I knocked. It turned out they were playing Halo and didn’t hear me. I decided to write a note on his dry erase board to say I thought he had good taste in music. I’m pretty sure I signed my name and my AIM screen name.
Sometime later that night or the following day, we had our first conversation over AIM. I learned that he was a fellow English major living in a dorm that primarily housed pre-med students in the Lyman Briggs College. We talked about music, our classes, and our interests, but I can’t even remember what else was said.
Throughout the school year, I’d sometimes wonder if we’d see each other in the cafeteria. My friends and I would pass his dorm room on our way to get Totally Takeout at McDonel Hall next door, and I’d make a point of noticing his door as we walked by.
It wasn’t until April 2004 that we reconnected over AIM. Ben Folds was performing at the Wharton Center, and my friends and I had close seats in the orchestra. I noticed on Zack’s away message (remember away messages?) that he was also going to the show. I messaged him and told him we were going and wearing matching Ben Folds shirts. The concert was on April 6th.
We chatted online in the days after the show, and at some point Zack said that we should do a music exchange. There was music on my iTunes library he wanted, and he could download his music into my library. First, he had to figure out how to accomplish it using our iPods. It was easier said than done.
We finally settled on meeting up on the Thursday before we had to move out of the dorms for the summer. It was May 6, 2004. The day of the “Friends” finale. I’ll always remember it.
I walked down to Zack’s dorm room as I had done at the beginning of the school year, but this time he answered the door when I knocked. He and his roommate were both there, and they kindly turned on the “Friends” finale on the TV that sat between their desks. Having the show on in the background was a good distraction from my nerves. I can’t remember what we talked about, other than maybe summer plans and being glad the school year was over.
After he was done loading my music onto his computer, we walked up to my dorm room to add his music to my iTunes library. Then we said goodbye and have a good summer. We kept in touch in the time that followed, chatting on AIM while we were at our summer jobs or into the night.
As I mentioned earlier, we didn’t start dating until August. The complicated, flyover zone of our love story is this: Zack broke up with his high school girlfriend in the beginning of the summer. Then I was seeing someone from high school while he was home from college. Still, our AIM chats were always really fun and easy, and I looked forward to talking to my new friend Zack.
Toward the end of that summer, we were both single. We realized we both had tickets to see Prince perform at The Palace; I was going with my mom, he was going with his dad. We arranged to meet up at one of the lounges before the show for a drink. It’s wild that something music-related, especially something as amazing as a Prince concert, is where we met some of our future in-laws for the first time. I remember being nervous and excited, and thankful that our parents helped keep the conversation going with tales of concerts past.
A couple of weeks later, Zack planned a day visit to Bloomfield Hills, where I took him around town and had him meet some of my friends. We also exchanged CD mixes, which became an integral part of our courtship and dating going forward. I remember Zack leaving at the end of the night to drive home and having a silly smile on my face. I listened to the CD in my room that night and in my car the days that followed. I knew he’d be listening to my CD on his drive home, too.
I planned a visit to see Zack in the Lansing area on August 21st. I met his mom and stepdad at a breakfast restaurant, and on our drive to visit his dad’s family, he turned down the music in the car and asked if we were “going to be Zack and Kelly for real or what?” It was a reference to how we often talked about “Saved by the Bell,” that he was Zack Morris and I could be Kelly. That day, it became official.
August holds a special place for us. It’s the month when we first talked (2003, via AIM), began dating (2004), and got married (2009).
But May 6th is an important entry in the plot.
It’s the day we met, seventeen years ago today. All thanks to iTunes.
