I’ve had it. I’m breaking the cycle.
I have decided that I will not live and die by my Apple Watch any longer.
On October 9th, 2020, I unwittingly started a Move streak that would carry on for 187 days. Once the streak started, it was hard to let go of it. So much so that I’d spend some (okay, several) evenings walking around my family room while we watched a show, go for extra walks with our dogs, anything to keep my streak alive before the clock struck midnight. But on April 13th, 2021, I went to bed thinking that I had *just* met my goal. The ring looked closed to me. Reader, I actually missed it by a few steps.
At first I was mad and disappointed in myself. I thought I might make it to a full year if I kept the streak going. It even took me a couple of days to notice that it had ended in such a frustrating and unintentional way.
But now, I feel free. And I’m going to try like hell not to let it suck me in again.
The timing of when the streak started makes sense. Our Peloton arrived that day, so between the bike at home and my love for classes at The Barre Code East Lansing, I felt there weren’t any viable excuses for not closing my rings by the end of the day.
If you’re an Apple Watch wearer and enthusiast, you know what the words “Close Your Rings” mean. If not, the three Apple Watch rings track goals for standing, moving, and exercise. You can adjust the ranges based on your daily activity, and the watch can also suggest increasing your goals if it appears you surpass them easily each day.
Closing my rings has become the equivalent to getting my five dots (or 10,000 steps) on my old-school Fitbit, a device that previously owned my life until we had our second baby and I didn’t need a reminder of how little I was sleeping or walking around.
Getting an Apple Watch a couple of years later was a major upgrade from my little Fitbit in many ways. The Apple Watch gives me tangible data about specific workouts, tracks my steps and heart rate throughout the day, and even not-so-subtly reminds me to stand up when I’ve been sitting too long. Often people joke that their Apple Watch bullies them about not starting off the day with enough movement or other words of “encouragement.”
They say knowledge is power, right? The idea that I can go back and look at how my body reacted to and worked through certain exercises helps me see my progress. Completing rings feels like a daily accomplishment, checking items off of the ol’ to-do list.
When I was clocking workouts every day in October and well into November, I realized I had a decent streak and wanted to keep it going.
And that’s when it all began. Even as I had days where I didn’t record exercise, I was at least meeting my move and stand goals each day. Sometimes that meant walking around the room or literally marching in place while watching The Bachelor to keep it going.
As the streak expanded to months, this obsessive behavior continued. I’d be thrilled on days when I took a class at The Barre Code early in the morning, because it meant I’d have most or all of my move and exercise rings completed before my kids were even awake.
My best friend Jen got an Apple Watch from her mom this past year, and soon I had someone else to commiserate with about the obsessive, competitive approaches to closing the damn rings.
Of course, the silly thing with the Apple Watch is that none of it is an exact science. There have been so many times when it says I didn’t stand up during a given hour of the day, even when I was walking around the kitchen. Sometimes it’ll tell me to stand up and I walk in place for a few seconds until it counts another hour toward my stand goal, just to shut it up.
I’ve been obsessed with making sure the watch charges overnight so I can wear it from the moment I get out of bed to the moment I’m going to sleep. When I’ve forgotten the charger during a weekend away from home? Nightmare. Certainly any movement throughout the day doesn’t count unless it’s recorded on this little silicone-banded device on my wrist.
Why have I been doing this? Why am I like this?!
It feels like the food journals of Weight Watchers past. The points. The counting. The obsessing. It has taken the joy and celebration out of moving my body.
The thing is, I’m certain I would have been doing all of these obsessive behaviors to keep the move streak alive to this day. Instead, it all ended on accident. But I think it’s better this way. I don’t feel married to the rings anymore.
And I’m really trying not to worry about it.
Even though I’ve made myself stand up twice while writing this blog post to make sure I don’t miss my stand goal.
Baby steps, right? Just not always 10,000 of them.