It’s March 1st, and I just completed Stella’s enrollment for kindergarten. I really can’t believe it. I was already feeling a bittersweet sensation as we’ve been counting down the days to her fifth birthday, so the timing of kindergarten registration is another big reminder that our first baby is growing up so fast.
I feel that my words should be directed to Stella, so here is a little letter from me to her. I’m also going to sprinkle in some of my favorite Stella photos from the last five years.
Dear Stella,
No matter how many times I say that you need to stop growing up, you giggle and insist that you absolutely have to grow up. When I ask why, you say it’s because you have to be a big sister. You also reassure me that you’re never going to leave our house and you’re going to live with me and daddy forever. And also that you are going to marry daddy.
You actually say a lot of hilarious and wonderful things, and that’s why we keep a book of your best quotes. Your most recent one happened when I said that you couldn’t have a sucker before dinner, you said “when I have a daughter, I’m going to let her have suckers before dinner. And I’m going to eat kid food, not grownup food.”
I’m sure I said many of the same things to my mom, too. “When I have a daughter, I’m going to ____.” I certainly had some thought as to what life would be like with you, but as any parent comes to realize, I criminally under-anticipated what I was in for.
I remember hoping that you would come earlier than your March 5th due date, partly because a 3-3-13 birthday would be pretty awesome, and mostly because my family would all be on a cruise a week later. What would happen if they missed you coming into the world?
Luckily you delivered, literally, with a sunny Sunday birthday on March 3rd. You were even born in the 3 o’clock hour. I have a sneaking suspicion that three will be your lucky number.
I remember bringing you home from the hospital and crying those first few nights. Crying that I was tired, overwhelmed with responsibility and my healing body. And, above all things, I realized what people meant when they said you know what love truly is when you become a mom. It was my job to protect, love, and take care of you.
It has been the greatest gift to watch you grow into the person you are today. Sometimes, it’s the little things that really get me. It’s how you name and arrange all of your stuffed animals and random little toys in your bed, just like I did as a little girl. It’s seeing you wash your hands without us asking, or pick up your toys.
It’s how you love to “read” your books, even when you can’t read the words yet. It’s how you put your milk back in the refrigerator, or go to grab your step stool to help daddy wipe the counter after dinner prep. It’s seeing you help your teachers move the chairs at your Christmas recital last year. It’s your awesome dance moves and great taste in music — thank you for making us listen to Fitz and the Tantrums, Maroon 5, and Coldplay over and over again instead of Kidz Bop.
I love that you ask for the same thing for lunch every day: milk, a peanut butter sandwich, and applesauce. I miss the days that you used to share my chicken schwarma with me, but at least you still love hummus. I love that you are a movie quoter, just like your mama and daddy. I love that you love Halloween and your birthday, just like I do.
Having your little sister last year made me realize how grown up you are, and how many things you’ve learned to do on your own. And you are such a good big sister. You are Margot’s favorite person. I’ll never forget you insisting on holding her the night we came home from the hospital. This really says it all:
And to see your relationship develop over the last year truly makes me thankful that you have each other.
What makes me so proud of you is that I truly believe you are a good person. You are a good friend to your friends, and you include everyone. Your teacher just told us that you were the first person to ask the new student in your class to play when he started at school this week.
You are a sweet daughter, granddaughter, cousin, niece, great niece… the list can go on.
You’re “a whole hand” now, and I can’t wait to see all of the things you’ll do as you begin your new adventures at school this fall. We love you so, so much. More than the sky, and more than cake.
Thank you for being our little charming, funny, goofy, big-hearted Stelly Belly star. And thank you for humoring me when I ask if I can take pictures of you. These are some of the memories I treasure most.
Mama loves you forever.
