I think that one of the biggest fears parents can have is thinking that they can’t possibly love another baby the way they love their firstborn. It can seem unfathomable. Of course, everyone who has been there says that the heart grows and expands in a way you didn’t think was possible. And, of course, they were exactly right.
When Margot was born, Stella had been an only child for close to four years. We knew she was old enough to remember what it was like to be the center of attention, and it would be a big change of pace for her. Fortunately for us, she was so excited to welcome her new sister that she took everything in stride. And she loves her so darn much.
Still, their age difference is enough that there are many things Stella is wanting and able to do that Margot can’t do quite yet. And that’s why we’ve made it a focus to do special one-on-one things with Stella. About a month after Margot was born, Zack took Stella to a special daddy-daughter dance event at play. in East Lansing. He also took her to see Paw Patrol Live at Wharton Center.
Once Margot was big enough for me to be able to leave her for short periods of time, I would do things like take Stella to get her nails done at the salon, or go see a dance performance. Most recently, we had our special date to see “The Lion King” musical together.
And this week, Margot and I are now getting our turn to have a lot of special one-on-one time while Stella is up north with my in-laws.
A year and a half after becoming a mom of two, I have realized that while I love doing things all together as a family, there is really something to be said for this one-on-one time.
It’s a very odd feeling to be home and in your regular routine, minus one of the kids. It’s one thing to go on vacation without kids, because you’re out of your normal day-to-day. But being at home and not having Stella come wake us up at 6:30 in the morning, or not hearing her reinventions of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” on the piano in the other room, or not fighting over what’s on the TV, is all so strange and great at the same time.
The truth is, everyone wins. Stella is having a complete blast with her grandparents and extended family. I’m getting lots of one-on-one time with Margot. I’m able to follow her schedule more, instead of waking her up or putting her down for naps in-between Stella’s busy social calendar. The bedtime routine is considerably quicker and easier, too, which I think any parent can appreciate.
We miss Stella very much and know she misses us, but this has been a nice few days for everyone. In some ways, it’s also helping me wrap my head around her starting kindergarten at the end of the month. That milestone is already an emotional hurdle for me.
But days like these are helping me realize how independent Stella is, and embrace the special one-on-one time to come with our little Gogo. She deserves to also know what it feels like to be an only child, after all.
