A few days ago, a Facebook memory popped up from 2014 that showed Stella walking unassisted in our family room. At 14 months, our little gal was finally independently mobile.
It was a reminder of a big milestone that Margot hasn’t accomplished yet. At nearly 17 months, her favorite method of getting around is still crawling. She has been cruising on furniture and window sills and walls for several months, but hasn’t taken the leap into independence.
I know it can be a fruitless exercise to compare development of two different children, even if they are sisters. As it is, we’ve already encountered our share of differences between the girls, including Margot not liking a pacifier, not taking bottles, and having several different sensitive skin issues.
At Margot’s 15 month appointment, we happened to see a different pediatrician than the doctors we’ve seen in past appointments. She mentioned her concern that Margot wasn’t walking yet. It made my heart sink. Should we have been working on this with her more than we had been? Was something wrong?
She examined Margot’s legs and hips and put in an x-ray order with the lab in case the time came when she still wasn’t walking and we might want a closer look at her.
She also recommended that we contact someone from a free program called Early On, which provides early intervention for possible developmental delays, including speech and mobility. Again, my heart sank. I think all parents want to hear that everything is going well with their child. Was something wrong with Margot?
Early On’s tagline is “Don’t worry. But don’t wait.” So despite being worried, I contacted Early On and scheduled an appointment in our home. If anything, it would help bring some clarity to the situation and also eliminate some possibilities for why Margot isn’t walking yet.
Before the appointment, we were in Disney World. Seeing children as young as probably 11 months old toddling around the parks while I was lugging Margot around in my arms made me worry (again with the worrying) that there was in fact something going on.
What has helped ease my mind a bit is that Margot is a high-speed crawler. The girl moves. While I could set Stella down with some toys and expect her to stay in one spot playing happily, Margot is into everything. She has also been climbing up on the couch and becoming obsessed with going up the stairs. The baby gate finally made an appearance a couple of weeks ago on our staircase.
At the appointment with the Early On specialist, Margot was able to show off her speed crawling and climbing, as well as her ever-growing vocabulary. The only thing she didn’t feel like doing was standing or walking. She gets noodle legs a lot of the time. The very kind woman gave me some tips for how to get Margot feeling confident about standing on her own and taking independent steps.
One of the tips was to have Margot stand up with her back against the side of the couch, in order to give her some support and comfort, and sit with my legs out on either side of her. Then I hold my hands out to encourage her to walk toward me. Another tip was to walk around with her only holding onto a single finger, and also try to keep her arm from stretching up too high to reach me as we walk.
She also assessed that Margot did not qualify for Early On services, based on her development and skills. This was all great news.
In the last week or two, Margot has been making strides, literally, toward walking independently. Over Mother’s Day weekend, she took a few steps toward me while my mom and I were on either side of her, giving her the feeling of a safety net.
Sometimes she is standing up on her own from sitting, and we have also seen her take a few steps and check her balance if she wobbles.
I know there will probably come a day very, very soon where I will wonder why I ever wanted her to be walking, especially when I’m chasing her down the sidewalk or around the house. But for now, I’m encouraged by each little skill she develops and looking forward to her next phase of growth and independence.
Margot has taught me a lot about managing expectations and doing what’s best for her, instead of trying to apply everything I learned and experienced the first time around with Stella. Stella arrived two days early, Margot was six days late. She has her own timeline.
Step by step, she’ll get there.